Ending the Hustle and Bustle!

 

I love and enjoy the Holidays.  I absolutely love my Christmas tree and all the decorations that cover the many inches of my house.  Afterall, it takes me a full day to just decorate and put up the tree and then another day to put out all of the other decorations I have around the house.  To me it is..."The most wonderful time of the year!"  Every year I try really hard to say I will send out Christmas cards but somehow I never get to it.  Many years I have even bought the cards and just never got them in the mail.  I have great intentions it just never gets accomplished (I really need to work on this)!

Our New Years is always filled with love and cheer.  Family and Friends always meet together to ring in the New Year.  I am so blessed to be surrounded by so many family and friends who enjoy hanging out and spending time with one another.  Words cannot express how warm my heart feel when both of my families can come together and enjoy each other.  Once again, yet another reason to see that The Lord has strategically placed and chosen all of the people in our lives for a specific purpose. 

Our Christmas and New Years was a little different this year.  As our lives are slowly revolving and changing for the better.  I am learning life lessons daily about letting things go and trying to trust that I do not need an answer for everything and trying to understand that challenges in my life are not negative they are positive and make me a stronger better Mom, Wife, Friend and an all around better person.  It is amazing how obstacles and challenges in our life can change the perspective of how we see things.  

I know that I have stated over and over again how I know that The Lord has placed Lucas into our lives for a purpose.  And through Him (Our Heavenly Father) all things are possible and He will give me and my family the strength to make it through and manage anything placed before us.  But through all of these words of wisdom two more words have been weighing heavy on my heart; "Trust" and "Faith."  It is a hard to have the Faith to Trust when so much of our life is unknown and so many challenges "could" or "could not" happen to our family.  So much of the world has so much to say about what "could" or "could not" happen.  Daily I am faced with some sort of new challenge that "could" or "could not" happen with Lucas having Down Syndrome.  Something pops up on Facebook, or appears on the television, or is read in a book given to me daily I try really hard to stay positive about it all.  Not to mention the other two children we have to worry about as well.  The 17 year old teenager who is starting to drive and preparing to soon finish high school in a year and figuring out college.  And a 5 year old who is just beginning school and starting the journey to prepare her for what her future holds.  So many things are needed to depend on trust and to have faith.  

Right now the biggest amount of Trust and Faith that fills my heart is getting prepared to have someone watch and take care of Lucas.  I know there are so many wonderful people who could do a fantastic job watching our sweet baby boy.  I am struggling.  So many issues about his heart until his surgery then all of the other unknown issues that come with down syndrome.  I need an extra special person to care for my sweet baby boy.  I had a hard enough time with taking Addison to my own mother~in~law each day, for selfish reasons, I wanted to do it!  And she was a completely healthy strong girl who handled the transition perfectly.  As for Nick, I did not need to face this challenge as he was 6 before he entered my life.  However, I face the same challenges with allowing him to go spend the night, hang out, go on sports trips, or get in the vehicle with someone other than me driving.  It is so hard to "Let Go" and have the faith to trust that everything will be okay.  I mean not to let everything go we still need to make smart choices and listen to our gut.  But trusting that we can survive and it is all apart of our life lessons to make choices and decisions,   Meanwhile trusting in God and having faith can truly ease our minds a little bit to know that He has a purpose and plan for all our lives even though we do not see the whole picture like he does.

As we begin a New Year, I am trusting and having faith in all the challenges placed before me.  Knowing that a larger power has a plan I may not understand.  Knowing I was chosen with a purpose to be the BEST Mommy, Wife, and Friend to everyone who enters my life.  I do not make New Years resolutions but each day I will work towards this goal.  

"I welcome 2015 with open arms to challenge my fears and trust that everything will work out the way it is meant to be; not the way I think it should be but the way The Lord knows it should be!" 

P.S.  If I had made a Christmas card for 2014 I would have used these pictures!  The Espinoza's are wishing all of our Family and Friends and Blessed 2015 year!